The Power of Listening

Well I’m more or less settled in from a great trip to Ontario.  Saw some close friends and  attended the annual Fitness Conference in Toronto I go to every year.  I purposely try to see the top experts and find out what’s new in the industry and make sure I am on the same track as they are so to speak.

It’s encouraging to know that my philosophy was supported on how I train my clients.  I also learned that the fitness industry is still tainted with gimmicky equipment and supplements.  Believe me, they had some at the trade show! Not all were bad but it was annoying to see some things that were being sold.  Or attempted to be sold for that matter.  I will write some tips in a future post that I learned but I wanted to share a touching story today!

On my way from London Ontario to Toronto on the train I sat beside a wonderful lady.  I will withhold her name and details as I respected our conversation and consider it confidential.  When we sat down I could sense she was having a tough time with things.

I figured it really wasn’t none of my business so I didn’t say too much.  Just basically a couple small words for greeting and acknowledgement.  After one of the employees came by offering us drinks, she decided to have some wine and stated, “I’m having a bad day.”

I could tell in her voice that she was sad so I decided to ask her what was going on.  Well there were quite a few changes in her life that had naturally effected her.  As a result she admitted to being depressed.

A couple times as she told me her story she apologized and tried to condense it or said that she didn’t want to bother me.  I encouraged her to go on.  Not saying a lot but just simply listening.  I think it was normal for her to think that she could be disturbing me  since I was a stranger, but I really wanted to know as I felt for her.  I sensed her sadness and perhaps the feeling of being lost in life.

I must admit that even though I didn’t say a lot as she spoke, I could tell that having someone there to share her emotions helped out.  She asked what I did for a living and I eventually gave her some tips on how to increase her sense of happiness.  The one thing as a trainer when I take on clients is that we just don’t help them out in the gym, we also are there as a support system, coach, friend, motivator etc.  She obviously wasn’t a client but I wanted to help out in anyway I could.

It’s a job that I absolutely love and do anything to assist people.  She expressed physical pain from an injury and how she was getting headaches frequently.  I’m not one for any sort of pills so encouraged her to look at a foam roller.  I will show in future videos how to roll out your body on a foam roller as it is a great way to release tension in our muscles.  We call it self myofacial release.

Some of my tips were for her to become a bit selfish as she needed to be.  Be happy with yourself and what you offer as an individual to loved ones and family.  Write down a list of activities that make you happy.  Get outside and walk the dogs frequently as dogs love unconditionally! Give yourself appropriate rest each night, write down your thoughts and feelings, drink lots of clean water, minimize pop, alcohol, processed, fast foods.  Eat clean organic food when possible and get moving!

Ease back into fitness and surround yourself with positive people.  These people will bring your personal belief back over time.  At times our confidence can suffer when times are tough.  I find that we never need to be alone.  We can always reach out and help someone.

For those who feel alone, pick up the phone and talk to someone.  There is no sense in dealing with things by yourself.  You will find with support and love we can get through anything.

I encouraged her to learn from the past and honor all of her feelings.  Don’t dwell too much on things but always acknowledge how you feel.  This is how our soul can talk to us.  We just need to listen!

Know it’s ok to be sad, to be happy, mad, alone.  These are natural human emotions that we can experience.  I wanted to show her that even though times are tough, that things will get better.  “This too soon will pass” is one of my favorite quotes by Eckhart Tolle in his book ‘A New Earth.’  Also to recognize that this exact moment is the most important thing right now.  Enjoy, savor it and keep plugging away.

Things will fall into place as they are supposed to.  Life is a challenge and the uncertainty can be scary.  Be confident with yourself, and face life head on.  The challenges, hurt, love, and all the experiences we face can always benefit us.  Even if we don’t see it at the time.  It will eventually make sense.

Have comfort and confidence in knowing that things will be ok.  I would like to thank her personally for inspiring me to write this.  I wanted to dedicate this post to her and anyone else who might be struggling in life.  May everything work out as you deserve and desire!!